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How to deal with negative comments

Qwania

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Posted May 17, 2018
In Lifestyle

How To Deal With Negative Comments | Natural Curlies

@BeyondPhotos via Twenty20

Dealing with negative comments can be very challenging, especially if they are coming from someone you hold dear to your heart.

The effect that negative comments can have can be crippling to your happiness and life if you do not find a way to deal with them.

When I was a teenager I had low self esteem so negative comments would hurt me to the core. As an adult, I have grown out of that but unfortunately some adults are still dealing with self esteem issues whether they are willing to admit it or not. This is something that you may take a few moments to think about. Are you as confident as you say you are?

When it comes to being confident in who you are, it can take some self-work. I used to model in my early twenties and I did not have a support system in that. Modeling helped me to build my confidence as I had to always walk with confidence. I could not show signs of insecurities. I had to be bold and confident. If I could not do that, so much for those gigs. Instead of certain individuals supporting me as I thought they would, they took it upon themselves to keep reminding me how I may not get picked because my teeth are not straight. I once went to a casting call for a modeling school acceptance shortly after giving birth to one of my children. At this time, the person I had with me showed me a checklist that was on the bottom of the paper that I had to fill out. There were check boxes and next to them were things they would be looking for. On that list were things like, skin, teeth, hair, overall appearance, body weight, etc. This person told me I would not get this role because I was no longer a size one and my teeth are crooked. I could have applied this to myself and not followed through, but I did anyway. I was going to prove to myself that I could do it with crooked teeth and all.

I was asked to come an office after my tryout and I told my company to come along. While in the office, the casting agent gave me a long gaze and then said, we love you! I got accepted into the school with weight on me and crooked teeth.

I am getting my teeth straightened but until then, it will not be a hold up for me. I embrace it! The confidence that I have will not let something I want to fix be an excuse or reason to beat up on myself because of other opinions. For you to not apply negative comments to yourself, you must work on your insecurities/self-esteem.

What helped me was to look at why I was so hard on myself and appearance. We must be honest with ourselves here. No one is around so you can be truthful with yourself without exposing this to the world. Really dig deep and figure out why negative comments have a crippling effect on your life. There is a great saying that I once heard, and it states, “No enemy within, no enemy without”. This is so true. We cannot control others thoughts and actions, we can only control ourselves.

If you do not like something about yourself; for example, your weight, take steps to achieve the weight you want. This will boost your confidence. Get up and give your hair some tender loving care today. This can help boost your confidence. Do more things for yourself that you have not been doing.

Surrounding yourself with a social circle that will pour into you positive uplifting words is also a must.

Detox your body and life. Rid yourself of things that make you feel bad. Even in this, no one ever makes us feel bad. It is how you apply words to yourself that matters. If you are confident in who you are, negative comments will not affect you as much or if at all. You will notice that these comments have nothing to do with you and everything to do with the insecurities the person is having themselves. They may not have crooked teeth, but they could have huge doubt issues and use my moments of opportunity to throw negative comments at me to throw me off.

People say negative things to bring you down to their vibration. They may desire the life you have and want to bring you down by reminding you of what they do not like about you. They may doubt themselves so how can they possibly understand the fire in you to achieve the goals you have set out for yourself. How they view themselves, reflects in the negative comments they say to you. It is not about you, it is about them. You are enough, just the way you are. Do not ever forget that. Oh, and one last thing! Here I am years later doing what I love to do with my crooked teeth. I am not a model currently, but I am always in the public eye doing videos and smiling with my crooked teeth!

What bothers others does not have to become your problem. Take the steps to fall in love with who you are, flaws and all. You are more than enough and negative comments can only affect you and become a hindrance if you apply them to yourself.

Qwania

Contributing Writer @ Natural Curlies

I am a wife, mother and holistic hair growth coach. I educate and empower through my blog, Naturalista4me, social media platforms and workshops I organise or guest attend. I specialises in helping others to achieve and maintain healthy growing hair from a holistic perspective by focusing on the overall balance of the mind, body and soul.

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